The End Is The Beginning

Is there an upper limit to how many times you can start? Is reinventing yourself limited like lives in a video game, where unless you get a high enough score before you inevitably fail, it’s Game Over? God, I hope not.

This marks the third, maybe fourth time I’ve started a blog specifically about my writing in the last year. The others have fallen to the wayside for 3 different yet linked reasons:

  • I got caught up in the minutia of designing the blog look, messing with plugins, changing hosts, etc;
  • I had a series of life events that kept me from writing (or more accurately, I used life as an excuse to not write for a while;
  • I spent more time promoting (ie, wasting time) my blog, with no content, on social media. This just means I got swept up in Twitter madness and lost sight of my goal.

All of those could be restated as “I was afraid to fail”. That might be the biggest fear I have. Paralyzing fear courses through my veins whenever I begin a new project – what if I fail? What if this is the worst thing I’ve even done, and my name is linked to this stinker forever?

Well, so far I’ve managed to fail at starting, so in trying to avoid a fear I’ve given into it. Which is a bullshit spiral, really.

So, let’s wipe the slate clean and begin again. I’m thinking of just having a few posts in the rest of March, shooting for at least 2 posts a week in April, and scaling that up in May through August, or until I hit a limit to my output on a weekly basis. It would put this site at 6 posts a week, with a possible seven posts in September, which is important.

September is my New Year, since I’ve moved the idea of the first of the year to be in my birth month (-ish. It’s nearby). So taking the rest of the year here and seeing what I can get to before I start my next New Year cycle is a decent plan.